In case you missed my earlier post, I am officially on record as pledging to grow my hair out for as long as the Packers are winning (at least this season). I’m not sure this commitment was taken seriously by my vast and loyal readership base. For those of you who didn’t know me in high school, you may not fully appreciate what I’m capable of when it comes to hair, so allow me to impart some knowledge.
I got the attached grainy image sent to me from a high school buddy (who I’ll allow to remain anonymous for now) that shows just what Matthews and Hawk are up against. I expected this photo to show up some day – perhaps on the back of a milk carton, or attached to a blackmail note cut out of words from a magazine that would arrive days before my gubernatorial run. So rather than waiting for “Mullet-gate” to break some time in the future, I’m going to embrace it now and try to put the scandal behind me.
I preferred the description “soccer player hair” over “mullet”, though at the time that term didn’t have the disparaging connotations it does today. Truth be told, back in the day I was known as a triple threat, sporting:
1) A glorious mane of hair
2) A fashionable wardrobe featuring a bright red Mistral jacket, aqua green Genera sweatshirt, and Girbaud acid-washed jeans
3) A black Dodge Laser
Actually, I didn’t have a black Dodge Laser, but the friend who sent this photo did and we rolled on College Avenue in it, kickin' it to a little Boston. Plus I needed a third thing – a “double threat” doesn’t seem as impressive, and my Honda Accord hatchback definitely didn’t cut it as a cool car. I could further regale you with stories of playing lead guitar in a rock band, providing more rationalization for the rocker ‘do, but I will let that memory rest until some other friend digs photographic evidence of it from their teenage archives.
Hopefully, now you all know that my words are not an idle threat.
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Brilliant post, but I'm confused about your inclusion of the Dodge Laser as a relic of '80's "cool". Seems more like a timeless classic to me, but hey, maybe I just don't get your humor. Whatever.
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