Thursday, December 10, 2009

Something has to be said about the hair

I’m not sure exactly when it started.  Maybe Al Harris was the first.  But the Packers squad this year has to be leading the NFL in one of the more obscure categories: longest average hair length.  The defense really started the trend and has steadily become dominated by guys with long hair of all stripes.  Clearly dreadlocks are a look across the NFL, but our secondary looks like the back stage at a Black Eyed Peas concert.  Once Harris cracked the seal, Atari Bigby came in to successfully push the look to another level.  Tramon Williams reportedly beat out Jarrett Bush as Harris’s replacement because “his hair just fits better in our defensive scheme,” according to head coach Mike McCarthy.

General Manager Ted Thompson – always wanting to put his stamp on the team – had to get in on the act as well.  He has definitely shown a proclivity for long-hair draft choices.  It started with A.J. Hawk’s comb-back mullet in the first round of  the ’06 draft.  “I knew when I saw Hawk’s mane that he was going to make a big impact on our team,” said Thompson.  And, as usual, the Packer’s GM was prescient.  With the drafting of Clay Matthews in last year’s draft our linebacking corps looks like the front row of a Def Leppard concert.  “When Clay came available, we just couldn’t pass up a chance to book-end the best linebacking hair in the league.”

Nick Barnett, growing concerned about the threat these upstart ‘dos could have on his starting position, decided to kick it old-school, and he's playing his best ball in a long time.  Keeping with the musical theme, he looks like a back-up singer for Ludacris.

As one of the more veteran players on the team, Barnett has been coaching some of the younger linebackers on their hair development.  “Desmond [Bishop] is coming along nicely – his hair has real potential,” said Barnett.  “But Brandon Chillar is up and down.  I’m really not sure what we’re going to get from week to week with Brandon, so we’ve brought in a stylist to work with him.”

Switching to the offensive side of the ball, they started out pretty clean-cut.  But as the average hair length has increased, their play has improved.  Josh Sitton started things off with kind of an early 80’s Kenny Rogers look.  Then Allen Barbre brought in the pony tail.  “I just wasn’t comfortable with how Barbre’s hair was progressing,” admitted offensive line coach James Campen.  “I felt we needed some senior hair talent to show the younger guys how it’s done.”  With the re-signing of Mark Tauscher, the offensive line found their pocket combs and have been solid ever since.  Even center Scott Wells has reportedly let his hair grow for over 6 months.

But one has to wonder if this whole hair thing has gotten a little out-of-hand with the signing of tight end Tom Crabtree to the Packers practice squad last week.  "Thompson has really pushed this hair thing too far," criticized Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel beat writer, Greg Bedard.  "This guy's only qualification to play in the NFL is his hair length."  There isn’t really a cool band that I can compare Crabtree's hairdo to.  It’s more like the line for the urinal in the parking lot of the Eagle River snowmobile championship.  “I need play makers, not flashbacks to my high school yearbook,” quipped tight end coach Ben McAdoo.

Whether this long hair thing has jumped the shark yet or not remains to be seen.  But the fact of the matter is the Packers have been winning with long hair.  Being the superstitious fan that I am, I realized that I haven’t had my hair cut since the Packers went on their four-game winning streak.  Not wanting to mess with a good thing, my proclamation for the rest of the season is this: as long as the Packer winning streak keeps going, I will not cut my hair.

As you can see, I’m scruffy, mangy and long overdue for a haircut.  But I'm a team player, so I will hereby ride this ‘do till February 7, 2010 if I need to.  As long as the Pack is winnin’, I won’t be trimmin’!!!  Go Pack!!!


  1. Mike, not to put a damper on this whole hair thing, but A-Rod looked like Jesus back in his first starting season,

    and even though he was getting good and putting up pretty good numbers, the Pack had a subpar season at 6-10.

    Hopefully Rodgers grows it back out to get us to the Super Bowl next year (Sorry, but I think the Saints are gonna take it all this year).

  2. Trigg - I love your optimism for the Super Bowl run . . . however, I'm afraid you'll be growing that mop until 2011 if you want to fit in with the middle linebacking crew. . . not to mention return to your high school glory days!
    (Please post photo from 1987 that I'm emailing separately . . . can't figure out how to share a photo here.)

  3. Post Script on Brandon Chillar:
    Looks like he has taken Trigg's advice and worked up his hair enough to earn him a nice $21mm contract extension. Check him out his locks in today's JS Online:

    Apparentaly, Trigg's blog is really starting to get a following with the team!

    Finally, and for the record, the photo of Trigg's hair has been emailed to him, but he seems to be exercising excessive editorial control. Let's hope he's willing to post that baby as it adds considerably to his Packer hair theme.

  4. You can cut your hair now that they lost. Could you imagine what yesterday would have felt like if Favre did that to us? Also, does anybody remember the Yancey Thigpen drop in Lambeau from back in the day. The football gods are pretty fair.